How we came to be traveling in Asia

First of all I apologise, this post is a pretty long one. Once I started rambling it just kept growing! It’s also partly responsible for why I haven’t been getting other blog posts out!

Many of you reading this will know us but some of you may not so here’s a little bit about us as well as how and why we came to be traveling in Asia. I’m writing this blog not just to keep family and friends at home updated with where we are and what we’ve been up to, but also as a memory bank for the boys and I. Some things can be forgotten over time and I’m hoping that referring back to this may stir some memories in years to come.

So I’m just over one month in to six and a half months of traveling in Asia with my two sons who are aged 9 and 10. Traveling is new to me however, lone parenting is not. I’ve been doing it for 7 years but I usually have the back up of much of my family nearby.

We’re British and I’m the youngest of 5 children in a very close family. I’m fortunate to have had 2 fabulous, inspiring and loving parents although we very sadly lost our amazing mum almost 2 years ago which has left us all a little like ships lost at sea. I’m still frustrated by the fact that I can’t think of her without being reduced to tears instantly and so I rarely do so. She would have loved these travels in Asia. My mum and I were like two sides of the same coin and we did a lot of things together. We made some trips to Europe together when I was in my late teens, one of which started by getting on a train at Matlock in Derbyshire and making our way to London, Paris and then south to Lake Geneva in Switzerland, all using trains. It was a beautiful way to see the countries we passed through. On later spring trips in France to see wildflower meadows, we were also joined by my sisters. I’m really grateful for the times we shared and lifelong memories and friends that we made. That in part was what inspired me to do this trip.

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People usually travel when they’re younger, before they start their career and maybe a family. I wanted to do that but I just didn’t think that it was available to someone like me. You needed confidence and friends who wanted to travel too or maybe even to just have the confidence to ask friends if they wanted to travel…. So instead I took the road with the least amount of challenges. I stayed close to home, I worked part time in my mum’s business and whilst I did go away to college to study, when that ended I didn’t pursue my own career, I came back and worked for my mum full time and rather than saving for travel I saved for a house. Our parents have always been there for us all and both of them encouraged me to follow my own path as some of my elder siblings had done. My eldest sister spent a year in Africa after school and then many years traveling the world with her career. I just didn’t have faith in my abilities, I didn’t value myself and I had very low self confidence and self esteem so I stayed put and subsequently had poor relationships, the last of which resulted in me becoming a mum.

I’ve been through a number of significant and negative events in the last 3 years and its made me address what I value and what I think about myself. I’ve worked on liking myself, being healthy and not setting subconscious limitations in my abilities and relationships. A possible outcome of this change in attitude is that I’ve met new people and getting to know them has, in part, lead me to having the inspiration and confidence to take myself and my boys on these travels.

I view the world differently and I view myself differently. I also now realise that traveling is not something that should be done at a certain time in life but at any time in life. If you want to travel and see more of the world then do it, don’t look for the reasons as to why you can’t. Whether it’s for 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years, it’s always a possibility. I now follow, chat with and meet many individuals, families and couples who are traveling at all stages of life and school. There is no right or wrong time. For me, being single means I’m more free to do what I want, when I want so I’m making the most of that too!

A friend of mine lost his mum to cancer when he and his brother were in their early teens. She fought a long battle and he can recall her being ill for most of his childhood. Their dad continued to raise them alone through what must have been a heartbreaking and very challenging time. Despite suffering that heartbreak in his early teens, he’s pursued his passions, trodden his own unique path and has gone on to make some incredible choices in life. I recognise in him is a steely determination and self confidence. He has some fascinating and incredible stories to tell and has worked hard to now be able to indulge in hobbies, passions and experiences as well as still working doing what he loves and growing his businesses. I was inspired and listening to him helped me realise that all I had to do was choose to live the life I wanted, confidence in myself and my abilities is a choice. That is a lesson that I want my boys to learn. The world is their oyster and nothing is beyond them.

Another beautiful friend of mine tragically lost her battle with depression last spring. Her husband and 2 young sons, who she loved so indelibly, have to go on without her and I hope that they make choices to live a full and fascinating life despite the tragedy that has befallen them. I thought about the wonderful mum she had been to her boys, doing so much with them, spending so much quality time with them and hopefully the memories that they created will last them a lifetime.

I’m not about to be taken from my boys as far as I know but I wanted to grab an opportunity before they start their upper school years and go on an adventure with them. Give them some lasting memories and hopefully learn a few lessons together along the way.

Once I’d decided it was possible and that any obvious obstacles such as school, our house and work could be addressed and worked around I quickly spoke to my dad and my boss. Both of them said that I was brave but that I should pursue it as you only live once and that was that, the ball was rolling and I couldn’t back out. I’m particularly grateful to my dad for once again being a father that I can turn to and for supporting me. I know he really didn’t want his baby girl to go off half way around the world with 2 of his grandchildren for 6 months but still he said yes. I needed his support at home to look after our house and in numerous other little ways leading up to us actually going.

It was originally a bigger plan to travel ‘the world’ for 12 months from Aug 2020. I put a post on Facebook asking for any recommendations or advice and bought a wall map of the world upon which we marked destinations we’d always wanted to travel to. Top of the boys’ list was Jamaica as they’d just seen the film Cool Runnings….. Sorry boys, not this trip! Then I had a bit of a health scare that ran over a few months and I almost abandoned the travel idea altogether. I found myself being somewhere between relieved that I’d got a potential excuse to back out of it and angry that the choice and opportunity may be taken away from us. I know that my family were hoping that I would rethink our plans. Once I’d had the all clear I had a stern word with myself and reminded myself that this attitude was exactly why I needed to go and do this. I made a visit to Trailfinders with a list of Malaysia, Borneo, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, South America and Canada and it was then that the realisation of fitting all of the destinations in to 12 months just wasn’t feasible if we were to enjoy it. So I started to look at just Asia and the idea solidified. I’d got about 15 months left to plan it although this changed after speaking to the acting head of the boys’ new school. She suggested that we go after Christmas and return in time for the boys to start the new school year in September 2020….So I moved our leaving date forward 7 months to January and I got on with it.

After chatting with a very travel experienced friend, Jenny Lynn of @travelynnefamily I was reassured that I’d made the right decision and I got it all arranged in 3 months. Its very absorbing as it becomes a complex picture of recommendations, transport options, accommodation, activities, supplies, visa and entry requirements, education options, vaccinations etc. That was just the travel part because before that I had to arrange for the boys to start at a new school on our return, handing over my workload and getting the house sorted and all in the lead up to Christmas so it was a busy time!

Now we’re here and I’m still pretty busy! The rapidly changing situation with Covid-19 is meaning that nothing is certain so I’m making plans and bookings knowing that they could have to change and sometimes indeed they do. Visas revoked, potential quarantine, flight cancellations. There’s also a plus side though as everywhere in Asia is so blooming quiet! There’s usually thousands more Chinese tourists traveling to these same destinations but for now that’s all halted so we may as well make the most of the opportunity and enjoy this amazing world we live in. Share the soap people!

That’s it. The end. Phew! Sorry about the novella guys! 😅